So here's the thing: I repress my feelings about my diabetes, and I repress my general depression too. Thus, I can be witty and fun when writing about James because that is a part of my life that makes me very, very happy, and I can just shut out all the complications and troubles, at least most of the time.
But then when I come here and try to post, it always ends up so maudlin that I don't feel like I should even write on this blog, because it's depressing and no one would want to read about me and my boo-hoo-hoos anyway.
However, I've changed my mind about that, since I recently realized that this whole diabetes blog thing is really just my own personal psychotherapy (in a very public, whole-world-can-read-along kind of a way). I still feel like apologizing for my boring writing and my depressing posts. But I'll try to hold back on the apologies and just let it all hang out, mind-dump on you here, because I've come to the conclusion that it's good for me. One of the main reasons I get sad is that I am lonely here. Most of my friends and family are far away. I don't get to talk to many of them, and when I do, it's not for long. The friends I have here are great but not necessarily people who want to hear me whining All. Day. Long. as I seem to want to do on this blog.
So, sorry again if you find this boring and depressing. But it's good for me. So thanks for being here for the boring and depressing side of me. I appreciate it. Maybe if I can get through the depressing stuff, just blog it all out, eventually the sunshine will break through and I'll have interesting and fun things to blog about.
Stay tuned?
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4 comments:
You don't have to apologize for "whiny" blogging! :-) I actually enjoy reading what you write, even if it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Everyone goes through blah periods, and if you're like me, getting it out there and writing about it is therapeutic. So, write away! :)
Also, I hear a rumor that we actually may be in OK at the same time next month???
I'm going to be in OK from May 23-28 (flying). After Aaron found out the qual will be over May 22, he is probably going to drive down May 23 and stay for about 10 days or so for storm chasing and general hanging-out stuff. Hope we can see you guys!!! I heard another rumor that there might be a "shindig" at Kenny's for old times' sake!
Blogging is great for personal psychotherapy and there's really no need to apologize for boring writing and/or my depressing posts. I actually find it more refreshing that people do blog about what is, in jummie's words "not all sunshine and rainbows" because you'd never know that by looking at books about this subject! Feel free to continue the way you have ... its therapeutic for all of us.
I love reading what you write - it's so real. And I use it as a kind of therapy, too. It's good for us to express things that we're feeling - good AND bad. So don't worry about it. Keep writing what you feel.
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